Ahhh…I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again…
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit.
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a damn.
I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
You sound reasonable… Time to up the medication.
Who me? I just wander from room to room
And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be…?
Do I look like a people person?
This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
You!… Off my planet!
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
Allow me to introduce my selves.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
Can I trade this job for what’s behind door 1?
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

..more to come soon…

Wow. I cannot believe its been a whole year already since my last birthday bash. Didn’t think the day would have crept up this quickly, but then with work and traveling around a bit, i guess time does fly when your having fun..(or in this case just hella busy).

Well, today I am officially 31 years old. Nah, I am not afraid of telling my true age. To be honest, I dont feel that old, if you consider 31 being old. Though on mornings after parting really hard, I do feel 31 + some.. =)

Well, more thougths and ideas to come. Thanks to all for your wishes you sent to me.

..more to come soon…
If I do not wake up with a hang over.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed
that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting
modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0
uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but
installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation
8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve
tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

— Desperate

Dear Desperate,

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command:
C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME
and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create “Snoring Loudly”
wave files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend
program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying
additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood
3.0 and Lingerie 5.3.

— Tech Support

Just for your info..
Question: How much data or information can the 1.44MB floppy disk hold in practical terms, such as a number of pages in a book?
Answer: 3.5-inch floppy diskettes hold 1.44 megabytes of information, which is about 1.5 million text characters, or 700 pages of straight text. When using compression software, the floppy’s storage can increase five-fold. Using uncompressed files, one disk can hold six seconds of low-quality video. A CD-ROM stores 650 megabytes, which is equal to 450 floppy diskettes, or roughly one hour of low-quality video. A DVD-ROM holds 4.7 gigabytes of information, or 2 hours and 13 minutes of full-screen digital video. Final tally: 1 DVD-ROM = 7 CD-ROMs = 3,157 floppy diskettes I don’t think I’ve ever owned 1000 diskettes at one time, have I? I’m all for dumping floppies and the drives that hold them. Instead, we can use USB or card readers to transfer data.

Told you..useless info..besides I will take the floppy drive anyday. At least that I know it works when needed.

…more to come soon…