Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed
that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting
modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0
uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but
installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation
8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve
tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

— Desperate

Dear Desperate,

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command:
C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME
and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create “Snoring Loudly”
wave files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend
program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying
additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood
3.0 and Lingerie 5.3.

— Tech Support