… Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
… Your orgasms are real. Always.
… Your last name stays put.
… The garage is all yours.
… Wedding plans take care of themselves.
… You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
… Car mechanics tell you the truth.
… You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
… Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
… Same work .. more pay.
… Wrinkles-add character.
… You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
… Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
… If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
… People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
… New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
… One mood, ALL the damn time.
… Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
… A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
… You can open all your own jars.
… You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
… Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
… If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
… You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
… Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
… You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking ”He must be mad at me.”
… No maxi-pads.
… If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
… You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
… You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
… You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
… The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
… Your belly usually hides your big hips.
… One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
… You can “do” your nails with a pocket-knife.
… Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
… The world is your urinal.