Hello, my name is Keith and I suffer from the guilt of not
forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by
people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor
6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead
will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before
her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.Do
you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you,
and everyone to whom you send “his” email, $1000? How
stupid are we? “Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this
page and make a wish, I’ll get laid by a model I just happen
to run into the next day!” What a bunch of bullshit.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my
house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain
letter that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this
country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower. Fuck them.
If you’re going to forward something, at least send me
something mildly amusing. I’ve seen all the “send this to 10
of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for
a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some
omniscient being” about 90 times. I don’t fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you’re
actually contributing to by sending out these forwards.
Chances are, it’s our own unpopularity. The point being? If
you get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave you
shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete
it. If it’s funny, send it on. Don’t piss people off by
making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no
teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27
years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter
he’ll receive if you forward this email. Now forward this
to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your
underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your
genitals. Have a nice day.P.S. Send me 15 bucks.