Hello, my name is Keith and I suffer from the guilt of not
\nforwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by
\npeople who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor
\n6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead
\nwill be able to raise enough money to have it removed before
\nher redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.Do
\nyou honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you,
\nand everyone to whom you send “his” email, $1000? How
\nstupid are we? “Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this
\npage and make a wish, I’ll get laid by a model I just happen
\nto run into the next day!” What a bunch of bullshit.
\nMaybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my
\nhouse and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain
\nletter that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this
\ncountry by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower. Fuck them.
\nIf you’re going to forward something, at least send me
\nsomething mildly amusing. I’ve seen all the “send this to 10
\nof your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for
\na human being will somehow receive a nickel from some
\nomniscient being” about 90 times. I don’t fucking care.
\nShow a little intelligence and think about what you’re
\nactually contributing to by sending out these forwards.
\nChances are, it’s our own unpopularity. The point being? If
\nyou get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave you
\nshagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete
\nit. If it’s funny, send it on. Don’t piss people off by
\nmaking them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no
\nteeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27
\nyears and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter
\nhe’ll receive if you forward this email. Now forward this
\nto everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your
\nunderwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your
\ngenitals. Have a nice day.P.S. Send me 15 bucks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hello, my name is Keith and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-303","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-post"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kemars.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/303","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kemars.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kemars.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kemars.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kemars.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=303"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.kemars.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/303\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kemars.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=303"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kemars.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=303"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kemars.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=303"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}